Loss! We have all experienced losing a loved one but losing a parent is a unique loss and one that is often discounted. Anyone who has had a parent die knows that feeling of profound sadness, the feeling of being overwhelmed, the thoughts of, “Oh No! What now?”
There is a prevailing attitude in our cultural messages that the death of a parent is a natural course of events and we need to “just get over it!”
When a parent dies, we find ourselves
Everyone goes through a natural grieving process when a death occurs. We each behave and express feelings according to the way we’ve been taught and as modeled by our society, our culture, our family, our peers and other influences. A belief system is created that affects the way that we perceive life, death and grief.
Although men and women both feel pain and grieve when they suffer a loss, the way they deal with grief is where the differences in their grieving become apparent. The differences we see in “his” and “her” grief responses are due to our different styles of coping with pain and loss.
There are many factors that cause these differences in coping… and most often we were carefully “taught.”
From childhood, we are taught different gender roles. Little girls are taught and encouraged to share feelings, express needs and receive support from others. This support system is acquired over a lifetime.
When you suffer the death of a loved one, you are thrown into a state of emergency in your body, mind and soul.
Brain imaging studies have shown that when an individual experiences a significant loss, changes occur along a broad network of neurons. The ancient survival mechanism of the fight or flight response is automatically triggered in your brain chemistry. Even if not consciously aware, at a deep level we fear for our survival. There is incredible amount of tension held in the body that is stressful and takes a huge toll emotionally, mentally and physically. Grievers often
What is grief? Grief is a journey. It is painful. It is difficult and challenging. It feels never-ending. It does have a natural rhythm that will occur and you will heal. Be gentle with yourself and trust your natural, innate process. What are resources? Your resources are all of the things that help you through the journey of grief: Work A grief…
If your spouse has died, your whole world has most likely been turned upside down… out of balance. Everything seemed to change in your life… especially you. Your belief system, physical routines such as sleep, energy and eating, emotional stability, relationships… even your environment has taken on a different meaning. That feeling of safety, comfort and familiarity about your life no longer seems to exist.
Grieving is a difficult journey, as you already know. In the process you and your life will change. Learning to re-create a sense of