At HOPE Connection, we have a tradition that we encourage every group member to participate in. It is the simple act of saying goodbye to other group members and the group therapist when a member moves from one group to the next. We continue that tradition when a member graduates from Group Five. The following is a poem that Lynne Goldklang wrote and then read to the entire HOPE Connection community as she said goodbye.
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief (Page 3)
There are many types of parent child relationships ranging from the most loving and supportive to the most troubled and conflicted. For the sake of this conversation, let’s start with the most loving relationship. Let’s say you have a son or daughter who couldn’t be more loving, understanding and supportive. They visit you, call and check on you regularly, they meet many of your needs, take you to your doctors’ appointments, make sure you eat, take your meds, take you on outings and see your grandchildren, family and friends, etc. They want to take extra special care of you because they don’t want any harm to come to you. They cannot even tolerate the thought of you dying on their watch.
One of the most striking aspects of grieving in the early months after your spouse has died is that words truly seem inadequate. Even the word “grieving” does not begin to capture the range and intensity of emotions that can erupt in an instant, and it takes days, weeks, months to begin to understand the complexity of the process.
Catherine Tidd, in an article on the website, Open To Hope, focuses on a single aspect of grieving, loneliness, and her realization that definitions she once took for granted cannot capture the kaleidoscope of thoughts, feelings, experiences, even physical responses, that constitute the grieving process.
Acceptance — what does that even mean? How does acceptance even happen?
Will acceptance show up? How will I know?
What if I don’t believe there is acceptance?
There are so many questions about acceptance and no easy answers. Especially acceptance of the loss of a loved one. When someone so important in your life dies, acceptance seems confusing and unrealistic.
Conversations After The Death Of A Parent Or Spouse
by Sue Rowen, LMFT
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ― Fred Rogers
Your parent has died. Have you stopped speaking about this huge loss and your pain to your remaining parent?
Please don’t take away my grief…
I know that you mean no harm when you say things like “You’ll feel better soon.” “You’re strong.“ “Look for the good things to remember.” There’s an entire long list of things that people say to me, wanting me to feel better… but I don’t feel better. I feel lost, alone and am missing my loved one.
When you try to “fix” my grief, I only leave it to take care of you, to make you feel better. Honestly, that takes a lot of energy and leaves me feeling exhausted and totally alone.
Grief and the holidays… what a paradox! They just don’t feel or sound like they go together, do they? Yet, here you are, facing the holidays while you’re grieving. Unfortunately, grief and the holidays are meshed together in ways that feel inexplicable and symbolic.
Have you ever bumped into someone at the grocery store or while shopping at the mall and recognize her but couldn’t for the life of you place the face with a name? You smile and chat for 3-5 minutes, trying desperately to dig in your mental filing cabinet to find the correct file — but fail. As soon as she walks away, the file lights up, “Sara!”
While driving a car, it’s important to see things from two different viewpoints — through the windshield and in the rearview mirror. The windshield is large and designed to protect you by showing a clear view of your present surroundings and a short distance down the road ahead. The rearview mirror is much smaller. You periodically glance into the rearview mirror to…
This article is addressed to adults who have lost a parent. However, if that parent also happens to be your spouse, then this article is also meant for you — the parent of that adult child. Looking at parent-child relationships from every perspective is valuable and can help both parent and adult children heal and grow.
When your parent dies, the family gets confused.
The roles you had come to know and expect in your family, roles that have been in place for much of your life, suddenly are not the same. It can feel very foreign, unfamiliar and can really rock your world. Who are we without mom? Who are we without dad?