We all have a strong inherent desire to belong, to connect to others. It feels good to be a part of a group, to feel accepted by others, to feel validated. For many of us, the death of a loved one can make you feel alone, isolated, different. When you lose a significant other, you may also lose your group, your unit, your sense of belonging. Rediscovering community can provide a tremendous sense of relief.
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Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Posts by Channie Amato, LMFT, Art Therapist (Page 7)
Grief & Humor Because HOPE groups are organized by the number of months since a person’s spouse has died, group members quickly notice one distinct difference between the groups. Group One members are typically quieter, both entering and leaving their group meetings. For good reason, of course — their pain is too raw, the emotions too overwhelming for much social interaction to…
Coming to a grief group can sometimes make someone feel like a stranger in a strange land. “I don’t belong here. I’m different from everyone. They’re all older/younger. I don’t believe what they believe about death. They’re a different religion than me.”
Appreciating solitude, being alone and feeling lonely are all related experiences that individuals who are grieving are familiar with. They are, figuratively speaking, places that you might visit frequently — or run away from because they’re so uncomfortable. “I’ll just stay busy. That way, I won’t have to feel alone or be lonely.” Unfortunately, that strategy just doesn’t work. Grief and the…
It’s hard to imagine there could be anything beneficial about losing a parent, and at some point in our lives, both of our parents. The good news is as “survivors” we can and often do experience, after the death of a parent, many new opportunities leading to a discovery that the ultimate shape of our lives is in our hands. When we…
Grief is such an isolating journey. Your inner you, that voice inside that is private, is struggling to find a place that feels familiar, someplace safe, someplace connected and someplace understood. It feels like everything in the world has changed since your loved one has died. Nothing is the same, cut adrift from the safe and loving harbor that once was. Everyone…
In the months after a person’s spouse has died, some people feel like nothing is changing, like they’re really not healing. That feeling can be deceptive, because for most people their emotional, mental, spiritual and physical states are changing. To illustrate the changes, HOPE group members recently wrote down the word or two that best described their current state of mind. The results…
Character – Etched In Your Soul Have you ever wondered how — or if — grief has changed you? It seems like a simple question. At least that’s what I thought when the therapist leading our support group asked us: “How has grief changed you?” Then I realized that what seemed simple, wasn’t. Because my first thought was, “I haven’t changed.” And almost…
“We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.” — Harold Kushner – When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough
Rabbi Kushner says it so well. The most difficult challenges of grieving are to acknowledge it, give it permission to have a place in our lives and in our bodies, attend to it, allow it to heal and let it go. Sounds like a simple recipe but what a huge and individual task to achieve.
The challenges are difficult for both men and women. There are so many general similarities in gender grieving styles but there are also so many differences that make the challenge of grieving different, especially for men. It’s important to recognize that while grief is individual for both genders, this writing speaks to the general differences more than the similarities.
Michael L. Thal, an accomplished freelancer, is the author of The Koolura Series, Goodbye Tchaikovsky, and The Abduction of Joshua Bloom. He has written and published over 80 articles for magazines and newspapers including Highlights for Children, The Los Angeles Times and San Diego Family Magazine. You can learn more about him at his website or contact him at michaelthal@sbcglobal.net
Michael lives in Encino, CA. He’s the proud father of two adult daughters, Channie (who is also a HOPE therapist) and Koren, and the grandfather of Arielle, Shaye and Jordan.
Grief is part of us, for we’ve all experienced the loss of a loved one. I first experienced this emotion when my grandmother died when I was 10. Later in life my beloved uncle passed away, then my father and a decade later, my mom. I dealt with those losses and moved on, though memories of their lives are still a profound influence on me today. The most difficult loss, however, was the passing of my wife, Jila, who died three years ago from stage four-colon cancer.