Grief is a natural reaction to death. Grief can be intensified when a death is untimely — when a young person or a child dies. Grief and additional emotions can be doubly intensified and more when a young person dies by suicide.Iris Bolton experienced this first hand when her 20-year-old son, Curtis Mitchell Bolton, died by suicide. She went on to describe her reaction…
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
'Healing' Tagged Posts (Page 2)
Click here for more information about HOPE Connection’s Parent Loss Groups. The loss of a parent is a unique event, unlike the death of anyone else. When we are an adult and one of our parents dies, we are changed in three fundamental ways. Here is an overview of those changes and advice for grieving this very special loss.
When we lose a parent, especially when we are adults ourselves, the loss can be, in a sense, “discounted.” That is, it is such a natural course of events that somehow we are supposed to be immune from grieving the loss. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our parents will always be our parents. And no matter our age when we…
Three little words (TLW). A simple phrase that comes out of people’s mouths as easily and unconsciously as an exhale.
When said to a griever, it takes their breath away for a moment as they are hit with the realization again. The realization of the death of their loved one just when they were attempting to stay away from the feelings for a while. So there is a hesitation to calculate how they feel … or to figure out what to say to a phrase that has no easy answer right now. A mixture of emotions and thoughts flood their mind and body like an ocean wave.
How am I? I don’t know.
There is so much pain and sorrow in our world and lives. Finding some thread of hope and inspiration often seems unreachable. It’s so important that we reach out to each other and create that thread… see each other through. From the beginning of time, hurting souls would sit around fires, tell stories and create connection and hope. We’ve strayed from those rituals and too often feel alone. We need those stories, those parables and metaphors to hold onto, a touchstone to hope.
As 2014 comes to a close, we offer you a “touchstone” to hold onto… the story of The King’s Diamond, an old Jewish folk story. This version is included in the Introduction of Living Through Mourning: Finding Comfort and Hope When a Loved One Has Died, by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. May it bring you a sense of connection to all of us and your deceased loved one.
There once was a mighty king
The holiday season is upon us and it can be a very stressful, lonely time, and especially painful for those who are grieving the death of a loved one. It can feel dreadful for those who are experiencing their “first” holiday without their departed. For many others, you may have already had your “firsts,” but it may still feel that way because you were moving through a thick fog during that time.
Loss! We have all experienced losing a loved one but losing a parent is a unique loss and one that is often discounted. Anyone who has had a parent die knows that feeling of profound sadness, the feeling of being overwhelmed, the thoughts of, “Oh No! What now?”
There is a prevailing attitude in our cultural messages that the death of a parent is a natural course of events and we need to “just get over it!”
When a parent dies, we find ourselves
When you suffer the death of a loved one, you are thrown into a state of emergency in your body, mind and soul.
Brain imaging studies have shown that when an individual experiences a significant loss, changes occur along a broad network of neurons. The ancient survival mechanism of the fight or flight response is automatically triggered in your brain chemistry. Even if not consciously aware, at a deep level we fear for our survival. There is incredible amount of tension held in the body that is stressful and takes a huge toll emotionally, mentally and physically. Grievers often
When your loved one dies, it may literally feel like it takes your breath away. You begin an odyssey that you don’t how know to navigate.
Shock and numbness prepare you for the journey as you plummet into a swirling dense fog of despair, an unfamiliar reality. The life you shared is no more. This is a forever loss and so begins… the eclipse into darkness.
In grief, individuals often have a feeling of generalized fear and being unable to control the body symptoms that go along with feelings of anxiety and panic. If we look at Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs Theory,” we see some of the basis for this anxiety.
It becomes apparent that when we experience the death of a loved one, we are thrown to the bottom two levels of the pyramid. We are confronted with the fear that we may no longer feel safe and may not be able to take care of ourselves and our basic needs.
One’s personal world has changed forever. When we are grieving the death of a loved one we feel stripped of the resources that, in the past, have been there to support us through stressful times.
- “Do I have enough money to support myself?
- “Will I be okay alone?”
- “How am I going to drive at night by myself?”
- “What if I get sick? Who will help me?”
Our loved one, a major part of our support system and someone we have depended on for such support, is no longer present for us.